Relationship Pre-requisites: Love Or Sex...

Is it Love or Sex?
I wonder, why is sex treated like some sacred secret? Sex or sexual issues are treated with such reverence that you'd think no one indulges in the act. You see, this over-rating has been long gone that anyone who talks about sex openly could be seen as vulgar or profane. However, ironically so, whether sex is spoken about freely or not virtually every human indulges in the act, even youngsters.
Back to the bone of contention, relationships should be treated accordingly as they should if they are expected to last...
I'm not ruling out other reasons that result in short relationships, rather, I would shed more light on a theory that is often neglected in relationships.
As humans go through various growth stages, so is required of relationships. What more could be expected from humans relating together?
A relationship involves two humans who should be mutually committed and dedicated to nurture, learn, grow, and sacrifice together. This doesn't entail two people coming together and becoming "one" just like that!
However, what it does entail is that, after two humans have mutually agreed to be in a relationship, they would then begin not just a relationship but the growth stages that would ensure the relationship lasts.
As a fetus is being delivered, it weans, becomes a toddler, go through adolescence, the teenage stage, then adulthood, till zap; so relationships are meant to go through courtship: where most of the learning processes take place; then marriage.
During the courtship stage, the learning process is the most important just as a mother's breasts are most important to a weaning child. At this stage, if sex is made the most essential pre-requisite of growth, the development of the union would be stunted. At this point, I'm not ruling out sex before marriage, neither am I preaching abstinence, in fact I'll keep mute as regards my feelings towards the matter.
*More on this topic to come in the next post.*  

The Comeback

Wow! It's been a really long while here, I've been lazy musing... 

There has been the issues of love, self-awareness, and some really personal stuffs! I hadn't been entirely lazy though, I learnt some crazy ideas!  

I've decided to share some not too personal lessons *winks* here in awhile, so sit tight while I compile them

In the meantime, this past February has been quite eventful-I don't mind knowing how you spent yours, kindly share your experiences...

For me, apart from the Nigerian miraculous win at the African Cup of Nations, simultaneous deaths of celebrities, and so on, the month was a bit challenging. *whew!*  I lost serious weight and my clothes hardly fit anymore! *sighs* 

However, I can concede that challenges stretch us, and path ways for us to become better.

The pinnacle of it all is that, whenever we are facing challenges, no matter how disconcerting the situation may seem, we should always look unto the bright sides as there might be opportunities lurking around-and you know, opportunity they say, comes but once.

Therefore, stand tall; hold your heads high; love passionately; laugh intensely; smile always, believe immensely in yourself and miraculously, you are gonna be fine!!! 

The Power of Association

I came across this write-up, and I couldn't wait to share it as was just like a 'spur of the moment thing' that spoke to me right away...

"The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change.

Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will decrease you

Consider this: Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.

Don't follow anyone who is not going anywhere. With some people you spend an evening; with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.

A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses. The simple but the true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate-for the good and for the bad."

 Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family, colleagues, friends, etc.

Mr Time...

As cool, static and beautiful a number as the is PHI - 1.618, so is Time. 

Time runs on its own volition, constant to every human race, continent of Earth, social strata and so on; yet it is one of the most significant differences between the rich and the poor everywhere.

The significant difference "Mr Time" exudes between the rich and the poor does not include how it runs or how static it is. The difference is in how it is being spent!

There's a popular saying- "I don't have time" amongst every human race, age and continent. Yet, when given some consideration, you would discover that the amount of time that a very successful man has is not different to that of a mediocre.

Time Matrix

 As shown in the Time Quadrant above, there are four quadrants in which every human is said to spend his/her time.

In the first quadrant (Quadrant of Necessity), we have agenda such as:

• Crisis
• Pressing Problems
• Deadline Issues, Meetings, etc.

In the second quadrant (Leadership), we have:

• Preparations
• Presentations
• Value Classification
• Recreation, Exercise
• Relationship building, Career Development, etc.

In the third quadrant (Quadrant of Deception), we have:

• Listening to gossip
• Attending unnecessary meetings, presentations, and so on.
• Many popular activities
• Trying to satisfy other people's urgent issues

In the  fourth quadrant (Quadrant of Default), we have:

• Junk Mail, some Phone Calls we could do without
• "Escape" Activities
• Time wasters
• Lying on the couch watching a TV show you are not interested in, surfing the web, etc.

Ideally, as illustrated above, we should spend our time on Quadrants 1 and 2: on important (worth doing) things. Amazingly so, when more time is invested in the Quadrant 2 (Important and not Urgent) less time would be spent on Quadrant 1(Important and Urgent) Therefore, in order to derive positive results from our time we need to spend more time on things that are worth doing at the right time, rather than firefighting!

REFERENCES:

• Time Management Module 
• Powerful Time Management Skills by Franklin Covey

New Beginning with a Successful End in Mind

Truly it is a new beginning: my very first post, a New Year... So, I decided to start by sharing an experience that somewhat caused me a Paradigm Shift!

I'm at the cinemas with E, some minutes before the movie-The Life of PI, when he asked me what my plans were for the New Year, 2013. I replied saying, "Basically, its an education-focused year for me-I would begin tutorials for some courses for my Bachelor's degree; begin professional programmes, write HSK exams..." Then, I asked out of the blue "How possible is it for me to work for UN?"

 E looks at me, about to respond, then I explained further telling him about the discussion I had with Tee, a day before, in which she told me to stop daydreaming as it would be impossible...

He then looked intensely at me and said in like terms to go find the book The Secret, By Rhonda Bryne

(find the download link here)

http://www.pdfbook.co.ke/details.php?title=The%20Secret&author=Rhonda%20Byrne&category=Self%20Help&eid=377&type=Book&popular=801

He asked me to study the book and decide on my own terms if my UN aim would be impossible to achieve or not.

At that moment, I felt unfulfilled with the answer but out of curiosity decide to find the book, study and decide.

In my fist exploits of the book, I found The Law of Attraction: which explains that as you think, so you attract more similar thoughts. Taking another cue, I'll say as you believe, so you attract more similar beliefs.

Therefore, whatever we desire to achieve this year, we need to begin with a belief of a successful end in mind before similar thoughts would develop in our minds, propelling us to act towards that which we believe in order to achieve the success we craved at the beginning...