After the courtship
stage, comes the marriage stage. However, many unmarried couple could hardly
define the current stage of their relationships due to the many stages involved
in the courtship stage.
While
I was searching for viable information to buttress my points, I came across
this Psychic blog post which shed more light on the stages of relationships.
As
I do not have the copyright to their post, I'll do my best to summarize it
contextually.
According
to them, we have like seven stages.
- First
Stage: This stage encompasses the meeting; for the Nigerians- "the
scoping and acceptance"; those times when we thought we couldn't do
without the other person; and also when the relationship is still brand
new, as a Nigerian-when the love is still "shacking" us.
- Second
Stage: This stage is very crucial. Hmm... You begin to discover who your
partner really is: this discovery is mostly flaws, but sometimes, it tends
to be some strength we couldn't live with. You see, most relationships
break at this point due to the impatience and lack of the right
information.
You
see, we are all humans and we should be able to understand that as humans, we
are prone to err and have flaws.
- Third
Stage: This is about a new understanding of our partner. We see them in a
new light, we can understand their flaws and we are ready to live and be
committed to ourselves.
If
you noticed, you will realize I didn't write anything on correcting those
flaws. This is because such an effort would be futile if it weren't on the
volition of the so flawed person.
- Fourth
Stage: This stage could come well after the second stage in some
relationships, it is the stage where there's a power tug between the
couple. This is the stage you rediscover yourselves individually and
your personal ability to have some control in the relationship.
- Fifth
Stage: In this stage, we learn why our other relationships failed. This
stage is about stability, growth, a new spurt of intimacy and awareness.
The
following two stages are most likely to occur in marriages in some
relationships, depending on how fast or steadily things go...
- Sixth
Stage: Here, there's a new knowledge of love: we learn the
difference between passionate and romantic love. Passionate: obsession,
sexual longing and jealousy. Romantic: communication, sexual chemistry,
comfort and even security. Passionate love is also the love we feel while
young, romantic is however a more mature kind of love.
- Seventh
Stage: Though this stage could occur anytime, it is the real test of relationships.
It could come in the form of death of a relative, terminal disease of a
child, job loss, affair, and so on. This stage tests the relationship, the
couple individually. Therefore, the solution is not taking out the anger
and frustrations out on each other but coming together as a team to tackle
whatever traumatic situation you are facing.
